- unique ascents
- distance climbed
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a Mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
|By type||Diff. band||Ascents||Hardest ascent|
|Tick||41||V3||Lemmings 2 years ago|
|Clean||25||21||Pimp Daddy Superstar 2 years ago|
|Lead||19||21||Pimp Daddy Superstar 2 years ago|
|Onsight||11||18||Diddy Kong 2 years ago|
|Flash||3||17||L'Arch 2 years ago|
|Red point||4||21||Pimp Daddy Superstar 2 years ago|
|Second||8||18||The Initiation 1 years ago|
|By style||Diff. band||Ascents||Hardest ascent|
|16||21||Pimp Daddy Superstar 2 years ago|
|15||18||The Initiation 1 years ago|
|10||V3||Lemmings 2 years ago|
|By area||Diff. band||Ascents||Hardest ascent|
|Arapiles||10||V1||Face and flake 1 years ago|
|Felltimber Creek Crag||9||V3||Lemmings 2 years ago|
|Nowra||7||18||Depleted Gonad Circumference 2 years ago|
|18||Diddy Kong 2 years ago|
|Buffalo||7||18||The Initiation 1 years ago|
|Beechworth Area||4||16||My Lust For Crust 2 years ago|
Ascents by grade and route style (filtered by no repeats)
Ascents by grade and tick type (filtered by no repeats)
Performance chart by route style (filtered by no repeats)
Performance chart by tick type (filtered by no repeats)
Performance table (filtered by no repeats)
|Period||Unique ascents||Hardest||Performing at|
|General||Pink point||Red point||Flash||Onsight|