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Eric Hromis

@eric7317
Australia • Sport climber
    Inactive
  • Grade context: AU
  • Ascents: 61
  • Photos: 1
  • Member since: 2011
  • Favorites: 6
  • Following: 4
  • Followers: 2
1
successful ascents
124m
distance climbed

About me

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a Mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

Notable ascents

By style By type Diff. band Ascents Hardest ascent
Sport Clean
1 16 A Fundamental Difference Of Opinion 9 years ago
By area Diff. band Ascents Hardest ascent
Mount Buffalo
1 16 A Fundamental Difference Of Opinion 9 years ago

Climber Performance Rating (CPR) Timelines

For help understanding the CPR timeline chart see the CPR timeline explained article.

Sport timeline (ascents)

Trad timeline (ascents)

Boulder timeline (ascents)

grade pyramid

Sport 1 ascent

16 1
  Other

Grades: Ewbanks

Climbs with

Have you climbed with Eric Hromis? Don't forget to mention @eric7317 when logging your ascents

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