★★ Ass Pats V3/4

One hard move off an incut sidepull and a small nodule of rock to easy moves to make the top. The classic 'where do I put my feet' granite style...

NO BOLTING AT ALL - not even for setting up top ropes or cleaning, thanks. Use some gear or sling a nearby boulder.

NO CHIPPING OR COMFORTISING - there are WAY MORE than enough problems here! However, please do make the effort to clean off flakes that are likely to go, and moss.

KEEP THE BOULDERS CLEAN - this means removing tick marks and cleaning off excess chalk if need be. Vinegar is great for removing chalk and the granite won't be affected if you need to give something a scrub.

Finally, please follow the naming conventions. Climbs have been named in a satirical fashion. If you make a first ascent - and there's every likelihood you will, given the massive boulder field - then go ahead and have a go at something that amuses or annoys you. Do not number your climb. Give it a frickin' name. Feel free to explain what the name means in the description.

Variants and eliminates welcome. It is bouldering, after all.