Ascents in Mount Victoria Area by Jacob Henwood

Like that friend from uni, this'll go further left than you're expecting.

If you're mantling into a dust bowl, you've gone too far. Take doubles of 3 and 4 or you'll be bumping like dodge-ems.

Read the guie or the crag before you get on. I spent more time than I would like to admit trying to figure out how the direct finish was a grade 13.

The vertical fern garden is well groomed, and though not helpful is definitely a nice change from all the bare rock. Take a keen gardener.

A large rock came off in my hand, the top out is chossy, there is no immediately apparent anchor and the nearest tree is a fair walk away (if it is still there).

Pretty pumpy. Had to stop a lot, and there are lots of ledges for this. I'm a boulderer now, though. I often get pumped getting out of bed.

The start is lying. Look it right in the eyes and you will see a lie. Harder than the 19 next to it or the overhang start to routes over.

Crawl out to set the table. Do the can-can with plenty of naps until you run out of climb.

Nothing here feels like a 14. There's a little shrub for the gardeners and plenty to do for those who like to sew.

Start feels hard for the grade, but there is a tree there if you feel like it.

My favourite character from the books. The climb doesn't disappoint.

The start was sent here from another dimension.

I took a fist to the groin from my belayer for misjudging someone else's beta. Make sure your belayer has small hands.

Ants nest at the first anchor.

You might have a better time stapling your hands to your butt.

There's suddenly no gear to place. Not a great first trad.

Don't climb this is as sport. Take a No.4 or 3. A mantle onto slopers is probably the juice farmer here. Tear your pants before the second clip for a no hands, no pants rest.

The climb turns into a lovely native moss garden after the short corner.

Missing from The Crag description is that you're meant to head right to use the bolts in the moss garden. That would've been great info on the day.

There's some spice in there. You don't need to hug the fridge but it's probably advised. Points to anyone who leads this.

Is this climb as dangerous as it is made out to be?

• Easily accessible two-star grade 14
• Lot's of sport climbers misjudge how many grades down they should go when starting out in trad
• Rookie tradsters under pro climbs and miss good pro
• Crack corners are not often bolted in the Bluies, so the style of climbing would be alien to a lot of sport climbers

The climbing is pretty solid and there appears to be quite a lot of good protection here, but I am still quite new to trad.

This is not an endorssement of safety, just a contribution to a conversation.

If you are going to climb this, be careful and sew it up as much as you can.

This little hidden gem is a chaos emerald. Loved every moment.

Pretty easy to go off piste, if you've done some gardening and ended up out over Deceptor you've made some mistakes.

Ants nest at first anchor.

Mostly jugs, but there's a couple of crimplettes for those who're interested.

3rd clip is sketchy. Seems like a good way to do yourself a very minor mischief.