★★★ Wise Seagull V4/5

Up the right hand side of the boulder through 'HIV??' and then traverse left on slopers with good spotters to finish up 'Deep Freeze'. In true internet tradition, someone flapped in and crapped all over this one!

NO BOLTING AT ALL - not even for setting up top ropes or cleaning, thanks. Use some gear or sling a nearby boulder.

NO CHIPPING OR COMFORTISING - there are WAY MORE than enough problems here! However, please do make the effort to clean off flakes that are likely to go, and moss.

KEEP THE BOULDERS CLEAN - this means removing tick marks and cleaning off excess chalk if need be. Vinegar is great for removing chalk and the granite won't be affected if you need to give something a scrub.

Finally, please follow the naming conventions. Climbs have been named in a satirical fashion. If you make a first ascent - and there's every likelihood you will, given the massive boulder field - then go ahead and have a go at something that amuses or annoys you. Do not number your climb. Give it a frickin' name. Feel free to explain what the name means in the description.

Variants and eliminates welcome. It is bouldering, after all.